Getting Real : Pt. 1 Food (is my) Drug Administration

 Addiction.   

That one word just sounds dirty.  

Only bad people do that. 

 It feels negative and heavy and for people who come from bad parts of town and grew up with bad parents.. and bad manners.....  and, well - 

that's a lot of   'bad.'      

Maybe that's too harsh. 

Maybe it's not really bad people, it's just that they don't have the self control and they fell on hard times and ....  

that still sounds bad.  

What if good people have addictions?  What if people with self control have addictions?  What if YOU have addictions?      No?  

 Ok.  Fine.        I'll start.

Hello.  My name is Bethany and I'm an addict.   I've been clean now for 5 months. 

  

Wait -  don't judge me?   Did you judge me?!    Because I know those somewhat unconscious thoughts that flashed through your head.  "Oh.  An addict.  Hmmmm  wonder what she's addicted too..   Glad I don't have that problem."   

Today I want to talk directly to those of you struggling to clean up your act.  Maybe you're addicted to food. Maybe it's exercise?  Maybe it's facebook?  Nah.... 

But for the sake of targeting that someone I think needs to hear this today, I'm talking about being addicted to food. 

"We all make poor choices against our better judgment. It’s kind of what makes us human – the tendency to actively and willfully make decisions that will result in unfavorable outcomes. Sure, the candy bar tastes good, but you know you’ll feel awful after eating it. Yeah, that blog is fun to read, but you know you’d be much happier if you finished that essay for class first. And yet five minutes later, a candy bar wrapper sits, emptied of its contents; your molars house fragments of nougat and sport a caramel sheen; light nausea approaches; and you find yourself wading knee deep through comment sections, MS Word window minimized. What just happened? Why did you do those things that you told yourself you wouldn’t, that you warned yourself against, and whose negative ramifications are already coming to fruition – just as you predicted?

Last week, we began the dialog with my introductory post on akrasia – the act of knowingly working against one’s own interests – but we didn’t get into any details. Today, I’m going to try to provide a few answers. I’m going to delve into the reasons for akrasia, particularly as it pertains to making bad eating choices. I won’t discuss psychological issues, per se, instead focusing on physiological explanations, but keep in mind that the two are often one and the same. You can’t really separate the mind from the body (well, without killing the person, that is).

Whether we pick up the phone to order takeout, open the candy wrapper, shove the spoon into the jar of Nutella, or accept the offered slice of cake, we are making a decision. Most health experts say making the healthy decision is a matter of willpower. So that if you make an unhealthy decision you simply don’t want it badly enough. Like Bob Newhart in that old Mad TV sketch, they seem to think all you have to do is just “STOP IT!”

Well, it’s not that easy. Otherwise, folks wouldn’t be making these decisions that go against their better judgment. Otherwise, they’d indeed be “stopping it.”

So why do we do it?"

Read more: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/8-reasons-why-you-act-against-your-own-better-judgment/#ixzz1ncKEoAnJ

If you haven't already, you should go read that entire article. 

I won't try to re-do what he's so eloquently stated.   

What I do want to do is tell you that you're not crazy.

 You're not defective.   You aren't 'less than' these other people you see having success at changing their eating. You don't have less will power, and right now - you don't even have the ability to just 'stop it.' 

So there.      What I didn't say though, was that you are not to blame. 

Not in the blame you're a bad person kind of way, but the only way things are going to change for you is if you are honest and can out loud say where you are. Really are.  Not sugar coating it (haha), not dressing it up but really laying it out there for at least you to see.  And then owning it.

No one sets out to be an addict. 

 Let's be honest.   No one thinks it will be them.  

But if you've ever tried to stop eating sugar or breads for a short time, you can be the first to testify as to how flippin hard that is!!!   

Why is that?!  It's just food, right?       I mean, so maybe I like sugar.   (insert head roll)   I deserve it. I mean, I've got 3 kids, I'm a stay at home mom who homeschools, my husband works a lot and I've recently moved across the country to a place where I know no one.    Dang if I don't win the brownie! (once again, name that movie ) 

And honestly, when and how did that stupid brownie become an addiction for me?

You know what I'm talking about.  That little piece of chocolate heaven can turn a grown woman into a full blown temper tantrum throw myself on the floor 2 yr old.   Oh lordy.  

  

That food talks.  It back talks.  Then it screams.  It taunts.  It reasons.  It hands you the excuses.   It begs.

It will make you pitch a fit like no other when you discover that someone has taken your last piece of chocolate!!!!!!!   

Here's the part where you can begin to change things.  You have to be ready.    

That's the key.   

You.  

You are the only person you can control, so you have to be ready.   Ready to make some tough decisions.  Ready to stop listening to your excuses.  Ready to take the hard road, not the easy bake one.  And ready to be in it for the long haul. 

This isn't an overnight fix.   It's a lifelong journey, and a complete lifestyle change.  

That's big.   Honey, that's really big.   That means you have your work cut out for you.   But you know what, I totally think you can do it.   Oh yeah,  if this southern fried born and bread on mashed potatoes and coconut cream pie lady can change her ways, you can certainly do this. 

The Greek definition for 'strive' is ~

agónizomai: to contend for a prize, struggle

Original Word: ἀγωνίζομαι
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: agónizomai
Phonetic Spelling: (ag-o-nid'-zom-ahee)
Short Definition: I strive, contend
Definition: I am struggling, striving (as in an athletic contest or warfare); I contend, as with an adversary.

 Notice the words 'agonize' and 'striving.'       

I'm going to just tell you right now, that both of those things are going to happen while you strive to change your life.   And I'm also going to tell you, that if you will keep your eyes on the prize then you will have what it takes to get you there.     You will fail.  A lot.   You will have setbacks.  Probably a whole lot.  But you will know that you are striving ~  continuing to push towards what lies ahead, and that you will never arrive but will only get better at striving towards your goal.  

I hope that gives you encouragement and the freedom it gave me.  To know that I didn't have to be perfect at it, I just had to keep trying.  Keep pushing.  Keep looking ahead so that the choices I had to make that were hard sacrifices in the beginning, had a purpose.  And that purpose was always leading me towards my goal. 

Ok.   So how did I do it? 

I decided I was tired of being fat.  Be that 20 pounds or 100, fat is fat.  I decided I was tired of making excuses.  I was tired of not being able to do it.  I was tired of looking in the mirror and literally hating what I saw.  I was sick. I was on depression medicine and still struggling to face the day.  I was rewarding myself at every opportunity with crap that I really didn't want, and I was tired of being powerless to change it. I was tired of comparing myself with others and always coming up short. I was tired of being tired, and I wanted things to be different.

So I took one thing out.     I started with Coke.  I wanted to see if I had enough determination to quit just coke.   So I did.    Was it easy?   Honey, just because I can write the words 'I quit coke' doesn't mean I didn't do it kicking and screaming.   But finally, after 2 years of making excuses, I wanted the prize more than I wanted the coke.     And that's been the defining factor for every choice I've made since then.

{  This prize?   It's mine.  No one is deciding it for me, and only I can make the changes necessary to reach it.  When I could see that as a real possibility for success instead of the constant opportunity for failure it had always been.}

The same is true for you!!     And can I just encourage you that something magical begins to happen when you begin to take these steps for yourself?   Can you just trust me enough to take that first step, believing that the prize is waiting for you?     

Can you look ahead for just one week, and tell yourself you are taking today and striving towards that new you?  

 Because if you are continuing to strive, sweet heart you realize that means you cannot fail.      Because the goal is not to arrive.  The goal is to continue to strive.    

So find that one thing today.   Remember - agonize is part of the journey.  So find the thing you think you couldn't live without, and set out to conquer it instead of letting it continue to conquer you.  

Let me leave you with some words from Bellatrix Nutrition ~

  When will we see the most obvious fact of modern life and modern illness? Man-made things are harming us and nature’s natural things have always been there to help us. The more we have of the former and the less we have of the latter, the more ill health we risk. The final trouble is that food, drink and drug companies are bigger than many countries and they want to grow even bigger. Food and drink makes us fat and sick and we then need drugs and surgery to manage obesity, diabetes, cancer, heart disease, damaged joints and limbs – it is a perfect symbiotic relationship. " -- Zoe Harcombe

 Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.