After meeting with my coach this morning, I feel insanely positive. I think I've begun feeling this way more and more but am somewhat afraid to admit it. For a long time I've struggled with giving myself permission to be happy, and as a result, I think I work hard to not be.
Silly. I know. I just realized that.
As if I don't deserve to be happy. As if it's ok for everyone else but somehow not for me. As If.
Who sold me that pack of lies is what I want to know, and who let me sit back and believe them.
Me.
I let those thoughts take over and I allowed myself to be hidden in the background. I sat back and believed I wasn't worth it. I put on a brave face and found pockets of happy-ish, but inside I was hiding behind a curtain of sad followed up with a round of applause by Wellbutrin
And then you know what I did?! (in my best dog video voice) come on, you know you thought it and some of you even said it out loud :) I acted on that belief. I dug in and set out proving just how un-worth it I really was.
That's kind of sad to admit, but there's only freedom when you really dig down and get honest.
When you finally pull out those dark and ugly parts that you try to keep hidden ~ and you lay them out bare in the sunshine so you can get a good long look at them ~ you've just taken the first and most important step towards change. Yay you!!!
So today, take a longer look inside and see what you've been hiding and I challenge you to do something about it. It might be as simple as an apology you're with-holding from someone you don't feel deserves it. Or it might be deeper than that and you know that by uncovering this one layer, like Shrek says, it's like an onion and you know there will be more layers that will then need to be uncovered. It's ok. Anything worthwhile never comes easy or without a price.
So be brave. Do something you're afraid of.
Take that step and then take another one.
And then send me a message and share with me ~ if you want.
It's going to look different for all of us, but truth be told we're all afraid of digging something up. We're all afraid of the change it could inspire. And on some level, we're all unsure we have what it takes to follow through with that change.
"Be you. Find you. Be happy with that."
And now for the boring stuff ~
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have something. Something for ME! A goal for the month. Whooo hoo!!!! Here's the plan. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I'll be doing both crossfit (am) and crossfit endurance(pm). Then on Tuesday and Thursday I'll go in to work on strength training and skills. Casey got me a gift certificate to hot yoga, so I hope to add that in there somewhere for relaxation. Saturday and Sunday will be off days. I'm excited. I feel like I have a plan for approaching my workouts, when to add or take away the intensity, and a plan to make me an athlete instead of just some girl at the gym.
Today's workout: Tabata 8 rounds alternating push ups and squats. Skill: Handstands WOD: 3 rounds for time of 400 m run, 10 Deadlifts at 145#, 12 ring dips.
I ran today! For the first time since I tore up my ankle 5 months ago. It was slow and steady, but I made all 3 - 400's!!! Felt surprisingly energized after my 2 workouts yesterday - it was a pleasant surprise to find that I had plenty of gas in the tank this morning.
Breakfast ~ 2 scrambled eggs, 1 1/2 C Green Juice
(today's juice had asparagus,kale,spinach,carrots,avacado,tomatoes, pineapple, 1/2 apple, 1/2 orange, grapes, 1 C coconut milk and ice.) The Cave man likes this for his breakfast too so we usually split it.
Snack ~ post workout, 2 scoops ARM
Lunch ~ Steak, asparagus, peppers, onion and garlic stir fry topped with avacados. almonds on the side.
Snack ~ 1 1/2 C of Green Juice
Dinner ~ Baked chicken with the skin on, green beans
Snack ~ Carrot/protein drink
So far I'm not having any sugar cravings - which, well... that's just wierd. I will say that when I gave the kids the last of the paleo chocolate cake the smell was entirely too tempting! But I resisted and am proud to say so far so good. Here's the recipe if you're interested in gluten free chocolate cake. We made coconut frosting for the top and it was heavenly! http://www.elanaspantry.com/chocolate-cake-coconut-flour-continued/
Motivational Video for today ~ Pistol squats on top of a kettlebell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWvIu7s-vIM pistol squats
Motivational Blog for today ~
thank you for the gluten free chocolate cake recipe share =) I've been using cake floor for most baking as it is the flour with the least amount of gluten. When I sugar detoxed several years ago it truly changed my life. Headaches are rare now and I don't crave things. It's amazing the reaction the body can have to sugar. In moderation, no problem. Keep it up lady you're doing great! Amy-Kristin
ReplyDeleteI noticed the same thing when I finally cut out all grains. No more headaches, my skin is clearing up, no more belly aches and constant bloating. It has made a huge difference. We use a lot of almond flour and coconut flour but don't use any white flour at all. (I did use it to make gravy awhile back, but my stomach hurt for 2 days so I don't think it was worth it )
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