Getting Real: Beauty & the beast within

 Beautiful. 

If you're like me, that word can cover a multitude of things.   I can relate beautiful to people, to shoes, to nature or to music.

But how often do I relate that directly to me?

       I will be totally honest and tell you that this post is going to be written as much to myself as to anyone who's reading so let's just get this started ~


     As you may know , I just finished my 21 day Sugar Detox (which if you haven't done, I highly reccommend it!!) and thought I would go into the gym today and get on the scale to see how I did.

(I know.  Enter flawed logic part 1.) 

But I did it anyway. 

And was I rewarded with a big grin and a fist pump because the almighty scale told me what I wanted to hear.    You guessed it. 
                                                              No freakin' way.

So not only did I step on the forbidden scale, I took a big old bite out of low self esteem after listening to it's poisoned information that I had actually GAINED 3 pounds.

Now, in my head, tucked inside that little logical pocket,       I know that the 2 inches I lost around my waist are proof that what I'm doing is working. 

    - I know that the .5 inch I lost from my thighs and the visibly reduced presence of cellulite on the back of said thighs proves that this is working.

    - I know that the loss of the 3pm slump and the energy gain are proof that this is working.

And I would be the first person to tell someone else what a great job they had done, because clearly the weight gain isn't 'weight gain' at all, but the building of lean muscle mass which weighs more than the fat did.
But that's someone else, after all...           we're talking about me here.

       I walk right up to that scale like a kid at a carnival hoping that just this time I'm going to win.
  
Well, let me tell you a little secret ~    I don't know if you know it or not, but  that game is rigged, and that deck of cards are stacked against me.    I know this.    Really, I KNOW this.

So the question then becomes,   "Why?" 

Why do I care what the number on the scale says? And why does it then tie into and subsequently affect my self worth?

 Why?      Why can't I talk to myself like I talk to others?   Because somewhere in there I believe what I tell them.

Why can't I see myself like I see others?       As strong, beautiful, intelligent beings who I never look at and think 'Her weight is really keeping me from enjoying her company.'    

And Why can't I stop listening to the media and its anorexic view of beauty ~  and start listening to my Caveman, who is continually trying to drag me off to his cave because he's so attracted to me.

        Why does that number on the scale take away from the knowledge I have in my head?      Why?!

Because Beauty doesn't come from a number.  I can tell you that.   But when will I start telling me that?

This morning I read a wonderful quote from Bellatrix Nutrition.  

         


  It said "Growing happens when what you know, changes how you live."




Clearly, I'm still working on this.





        "Sadly, very few people ever live to become the success story they dream about. And there’s one simple reason why: They never take action! The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live. So many people live in a complete daze. Actually, they don’t ‘live.’ They simply ‘get by’ because they never take the necessary action to make things happen – to seek their dreams. It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action. There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action. It’s as simple as that. Success hinges on the simple act of making a decision to live – to absorb yourself in the process of going after your dreams and goals. So make that decision. And take action."
-Bellatrix Nutrition


 Beautiful comes in all shapes and sizes, but I need to challenge myself to re-define what I 'think' beauty is.

Beauty is the strength of a mother knitting together a life in her womb.    Beauty is the strength it takes for her to bring that child into this life.    Beauty is her heart, as she shreds it to pieces while loving her family.    And beauty is etched in the lines on her face as she ages, having lived well and loved well both herself, and everyone around her. 

Someday soon I will believe the truth about beautiful ~  and I will stand on the knowledge that it has nothing to do with my weight or my size.    I will one day believe that I am beautiful because of who I am.

Today I wish that for you as well.     I wish for you to know more than you know anything else, that you are BEAUTIFUL inside and out.   

What's your definition of beautiful and does it need to be re-defined?    


Breakfast ~ 3 eggs fried in pig fat, whole Green drink
Snack ~ after workout ARM recovery drink
Lunch ~ Baked Ham, carrot fries, sweet potatoes and green beans
Snack ~ Cheese and almonds/cashews
Dinner ~ Baked Chicken

Workout for today ~
  5 min. AMRAP  5 v-ups, 7 Goblet Squats 1pd, 9 Vertical Jumps from full squat
Wod:    'Randy'  
    Now that I'm lifting heavier weights and my ankle is recovering, my lower back has decided to make an appearance.  Not in the 'oh, I've injured my back' kind of way - but in the 'oh, my back is blown up like my forearms are after doing too many toes to bar'.      So while I'm waiting for that to fall into line like the rest of my sore muscles :)   I did Randy with only a 45# bar    in 6:40.     Certainly one to put on the list of  'Do this Rx next time!'   
Later today I'll go back in and row for my endurance workout and hopefully get in a few double unders. My best as of today has been 107.   Aiming for 150 today.


Favorite Motivational Blog ~ If you have only one motivational blog to read a day, you should be reading this one.  Lisbeth is by far my favorite genius when it comes to to-the-point honesty.  

Jump

crossfitlisbeth.com

Favorite Recipe ~  kale shake http://healthyblenderrecipes.com/recipes/raw_vegan_creamy_pistachio_ice_cream_kale_shake/




 If you've just finished your 21 Day Sugar Detox, you should also read this  ~
What Now?   http://balancedbites.com/2012/01/after-nutrition-paleo-challenge-elimination-diet.html


A few thoughts to leave you with....

"By changing our eating habits and how we workout, we are forever changing generations to come. Make positive life changing decisions daily. Think beyond yourself." - Jeremy Kinnick

 "Remember, every day is Day One and every meal is Meal One. Every day and every meal you start with fresh resolve. You're always strong enough to eat one paleo meal. Don't try, just eat it. It's only ever one meal. You can do it!" -- James Gregory